“The cells of your body are dying and growing again every day, and you are always in the process of becoming something new. You’re not sure yet who you will be, but you are ready to find out,” (Stevenson ix).
N.D. Stevenson looks back at eight years of their life (2011-2019) through mini comics and old blog posts remembering the highs and lows of various years as they discovered who they truly were.
A note before starting. The Fire Never Goes Out was published by N.D. Stevenson before he came out as transgender and therefore the book uses his deadname and N.D. also refers to himself using old pronouns. For this review I will be using N.D. Stevenson’s correct name and pronouns.
I’m a big fan of N.D. Stevennson. I love his art style, I love Nimona and She-Ra. I remember when Rainbow Rowell’s Fangirl came out and immediately clocking the Stevenson had done the cover art, I followed him on Tumblr. There’s something so cozy about his art style and I love how loose and expressive his characters are. I remember when The Fire Never Goes Out came out and wanting to read it, but then the pandemic happened and it fell off my radar.
And it’s a fine book, but I think to call it a memoir and collection of essays is incredibly generous. The comics are few and far between, more snapshots into Stevenson’s daily routine and life then anything that goes too deep into his personal struggles. The feelings are there, most notably illustrated by a then self-portrait of N.D. with a hole in his chest. It’s clear to see the feelings N.D. is communicating, but the history behind it is missing, and arguably a memoir is about a person’s history. A memoir is a time for the author to bare all, the good, the bad, and the ugly to their readers. Their incredibly difficult to write and I give kudos to the memoir writers out there, but I wouldn’t call Stevenson one.
The essays are, as Stevenson calls them, blog posts. In fact it was only when reading the book that I realized I had read some of these posts before, and upon some searching I found the exact posts in the book from Stevenson’s Tumblr. And honestly, that was a little disappointing, to find that most of the comics and the “essays” was just being reformatted into book form. It’s not surprising, though I’d argue that if writing a memoir one should include some new material and expansions and not the same posts that can still be found on an old blog.
I think the graphic novel memoir has seen many different forms and The Fire Never Goes Out is just one version of that. I’d love to see an expanded and updated version where Stevenson talks about his transition and coming to understand his trans-identity as so much of his book shows him coming to terms with his queer identity. It’s not a bad book, a bit disappointing, but I still love Stevenson’s work. I hope he keeps creating!
Publication: March 3 2020
Publisher: Quill Tree Books
Pages: 198 pages (Paperback)
Source: Library
Genre: Non-Fiction, Memoir, Graphic Novel
My Rating: ⛤⛤⛤
Summary:
In a collection of essays and personal mini-comics that span eight years of his young adult life, author-illustrator N.D. Stevenson charts the highs and lows of being a creative human in the world. Whether it’s hearing the wrong name called at his art school graduation ceremony or becoming a National Book Award finalist for his debut graphic novel, Nimona, N.D. captures the little and big moments that make up a real life, with a wit, wisdom, and vulnerability that are all his own.
Sarah O'Connor 