I’ve been having trouble writing.
It’s not like this hasn’t happened before. I wouldn’t call it writer’s block so much as an anxiety towards my own writing, which just sounds silly. There’s a piece I’ve been working on for some time now that seems like it will never be perfect. It’s a story I care about a lot and it’s one that I want to write. It’s important, and I worry I’ll never be able to do it justice.
So I took a step back from it, not entirely by choice. Working full-time now it can be difficult to find the time to write. I usually write before work but for a variety of reasons I haven’t been sleeping as well as I should, I’m either lured awake by the blue glow of my phone or else I’m trying to fit in some reading I didn’t get a chance to during the day. Then I’ll wake up tired, the words muggy and slow in my brain and not worth writing down, so I don’t. Then there was an unexpected funeral visitation I rushed to last month, and a few early mornings where everyone in my house had to leave at once meaning a frenzy of activity as we started our days. And I’m sure all of this sounds like an excuse but some of it has been legitimate. But if I were to be honest I think the biggest thing that’s been holding me back is fear and frustration.
Sarah O'Connor 