Sarah O'Connor

I received this book from Simon and Schuster Canada in exchange for an honest review.

“I’d rather be me now, than me any age prior. But there is this heaviness to aging. Who I am was built on the shoulders of the person I was last year, and the year before, and before, and before. I’m not just thirty-three; I’m twenty-seven. I’m eighteen. I’m nine. I was just born. And I have to carry all of those versions of myself, the feelings they have, and the mistakes they’ve made, everywhere I go,” (Austin).

Thirty-two year old Darcy is living a better life than she ever thought she would: she’s a librarian at her local library branch, her wife Joy runs a book binding business outside of their house, and they have two great cats. She has also just returned back to work after a mental health leave after learning that her ex-boyfriend Ben has died. As Darcy navigates her own mental health and speaks to a therapist to help her understand her relationship with Ben, the library branch she works at is dealing with protests about censorship and book banning, juggling the struggles in her personal and work life hoping for some ease somewhere.

Anytime Emily Austin is publishing a new book I’m going to be excited to read it and even more ecstatic if I am lucky enough to get an ARC to review (thank you Simon and Schuster!). Is This a Cry For Help? piqued my interest because it is about a thirty-two year old blue-haired librarian while I am a thirty-two year old blue-haired library worker. There are some other differences, but knowing the book was set in and going to be talking about some of the things library workers are currently facing (and knowing Austin herself worked in libraries and has an MLIS degree) I was excited to see how this book would make me feel.

Is This a Cry For Help? feels different than your typical Emily Austin book. While we are still following a woman protagonist with mental health issues, Darcy does not start out struggling and searching for help like many of Austin’s other protagonists. Darcy has just returned from work after a mental health leave, and while she is still struggling she has coping mechanisms, a therapist she regularly sees, a loving wife, and a support network to help her. Before this book, Austin’s protagonists tend to struggle until coming to the realization that they are not able to help themselves, so it was interesting to read from a character who is aware of her struggles and is working to cope with them.

Since Darcy is more aware than other Austin protagonists, a lot of the book concerns her own memories of her ex-boyfriend as she dissects the relationship she was in at eighteen while also seeking to understand the protests and hatred some people have started to have towards her library branch and libraries in general. Austin goes into a great discussion of censorship here and really challenges readers to understand the full capacity of it which I know many reader’s will struggle with (especially considering where the talk of censorship is coming from) but is a very real part of library work and, unfortunately, the threat of censorship is very relevant to many library systems right now.

Austin also nails the daily life of a library worker, from the strange reference questions to scenarios you never thought would occur, to the stress and struggles that staff experience, and also how the library acts as a third and very important space to many community members and the public. It’s obvious that Austin cares a lot about libraries and library workers and I’m happy a book like this exists to show what working at a library is like, because contrary to popular belief, it isn’t reading all day.

I do wish that Is This a Cry For Help? went a little deeper into Darcy’s own understanding of her relationship with her ex. There is a lot there, but unlike Austin’s other books it felt like there was a divide between Darcy and the reader, like I could never get fully in her head, but maybe that was the point. Overall this is another win for Austin, and I can’t wait for the official release of this book!

Publisher: Atria Books
Pages: 304 pages (eBook)
Source: NetGalley
Genre: Fiction, Contemporary, Canadian, Queer
My Rating: ⛤⛤⛤⛤
Summary:

Darcy’s life turned out better than she could have ever imagined. She is a librarian at the local branch, while her wife Joy runs a book binding service. Between the two of them, there is no more room on their shelves with their ample book collections, various knickknacks and bobbles, and dried bouquets. Rounding out their ideal life is two cats and a sun-soaked house by the lake.
But when Darcy receives the news that her ex-boyfriend, Ben, has passed away, she spirals into a pit of guilt and regret, resulting in a mental breakdown and medical leave from the library. When she returns to work, she is met by unrest in her community, and protests surrounding intellectual freedom, resulting in a call for book bans and a second look at the branch’s upcoming DEI programs.
Through the support of her community, colleagues, and the personal growth that results from examining her previous relationships, Darcy comes into her own agency and the truest version of herself. Is This a Cry for Help? not only offers a moving portrait of queer life after coming of age but also powerfully explores questions about sexuality, community, and the importance of libraries.