Nowhere, really I’ve been here. Unlike some times in the past, I’ve actually been doing a good job of keeping this site active. I changed the layout colours this year to something more me (though I do wish WordPress made it easier to customize colour themes. I pay for this domain, why can’t I customize them myself instead of using the pre-determined colour codes?), and I made this site look more like a Portfolio than a blog. I always wanted this site to look professional, to showcase my writing past, present, and current and I think it finally looks the way I want it to. And of course, the blog is important, it’s what directs most of the traffic on this site.
So what’s my issue?
It’s hard to say. When the pandemic started, I struggled thinking of topics to write about. Talking about the pandemic was too timely, and living with a chronically ill sister and a high-risk dad made me too worried to write about anything about how I was feeling, like if I typed out my fears I’d somehow be tempting them into reality. So I returned to writing book reviews, which got me writing something and kept the site active. It’s been great in other ways as I’ve connected with numerous Indie authors and publishers and read many great books from smaller presses that weren’t on my radar before.
But that isn’t all I want to write.
And it isn’t. When not writing book reviews I’m writing my own things, the draft of a novel that might not be a draft anymore, that might be ready. Ready? For what? Publication, hopefully. But queries are scary, and perfecting a manuscript is a task reminiscent of Sisyphus. It all seems impossible, but I can feel that it’s nearly there, almost ready. So I am writing, but I miss the things I used to write here. The random topics, the honesty of it.
I think I lost my voice in the pandemic. I think that during a time that was so collectively scary, when I was too afraid to voice my fears into the world I didn’t want to say anything. So I’m trying to remember where that voice lives, where it’s been hiding, and why exactly I’ve been afraid to shout again.
In an attempt to fix this, I’ve made a Substack. I’ve been using it for a few months actually, and just revamped it today because I had three separate publications and just learned I could put all my publications into one under three sections (I feel like this was a simple, obvious thing but it BLEW my mind!). Mainly I’ve been writing about the character Ophelia, because she’s always fascinated me and I’ve had a story idea about her for awhile. I have another about weird saints, because I was raised Catholic and let me tell you there are some weird ones, and a third based on my podcast that never was but that I’m reviving as a Substack.
So what does that mean for the blog?
Nothing really, I’m planning on having both. My Substack is free, and I think I’ll post some preview of my Substack articles that you can then check out there. Trying to keep both active, and keep myself writing.
So yeah, I’m still here and I have a Substack now. Why don’t you follow me?